About Me

Leeds, United Kingdom
I'd like to work in comics. While you're here, take alook around.

Wednesday 25 August 2010

“Hunter” for CLiNT

Hey, another story here. This is your basic Future Shock sci-fi twist story, perfect for CLiNT space oddities. It's only a three page story and admittedly the subject matter may be a bit dodgy but give it a chance, any ways hope you enjoy.

HUNTERS


 

PAGE ONE


 

Panel One: A huge sweaty man sits at a desk surrounded by half empty pizza boxes, crisp packets and other assorted food goods. He bulges out of his clothes as he types away at a computer with a devious smile on his face.


 

GARY

REAL NAME'S GARY BUT ON THE PRINCESS-WORLD FORUMS I'M BETTER KNOWN AS "STAR-GIRL". WAS GONNA GO WITH "STR-GRL" BUT THAT LOOKS TOO MUCH LIKE STRUGGLE.


 

Panel Two: a close up shot of the fat man from the waist up. He has a pimply with pubic facial hair sprouting out randomly. He wears round spectacles that give him the look of a sinister scientist, albeit a fat one. His ill-fitting t-shirt is covered in stains from his fast food diet and has the words "It's not fat, it's just more to love" hilariously written on it.


 

GARY

YOU GOTTA THINK ABOUT THESE KINDA THING SEE, 'SPECIALLY IF YOU'RE GOING HUNTING.


 

Panel Three: An internet chat room. The text reads as so.


 

STAR-GIRL

I LIKE HER 2. WATS UR FAV SONG?


 

LIL-PRINCESS

BEST OF BOTH WRLDS. I WISH I WAS AS KOOL AS HER.


 

STAR-GIRL

U R KOOL JJJ


 

LIL-PRINCESS

:D HEHE. UR THE BEST!!! DO U THINK HANNAH WILL GET WIV JOSH SOON, HE IS HOT!


 

STAR-GIRL

LOLZ. THAT WUD BE SOOOOOOO COOL. LOL


 

Panel Four: Frontal view of an innocent little girl with pigtails and big eyes. The most adorable little girl ever conceived basically.


 

GARY

THAT'S WHERE I MET "LIL-PRINCESS". HER REAL NAMES SARAH, MY REAL NAME IS "CHRISTINA" HEHEHE.


 

Panel Five: view of the little girl sat at a desk, her legs dangling from the chair as she types away at her computer. Her room is adorned with flowers and posters of the Hannah Montana like pop stars and kittens and such.


 

GARY

SWEET KID REALLY. SHE LIKES KITTENS AND MUSIC AND SOMEDAY WANTS TO BE AN ASTRONAUT. I HAD TO HAVE HER.


 

PAGE TWO


 

Panel One: More chat room dialogue.


 

STAR-GIRL

UR LIKE MY BF SARAH. WANT 2 MEET UP OR SOMETHING?


 

LIL-PRINCESS

I DONT KNOW CHRISSY, I'M NOT SURE MUM WOULD LET ME COME 2 UR HOUSE. GRR! :@


 

STAR-GIRL

SHE JUST LUKING AFTER U. WAT ABOUT THE PARK? THERE WUD B OVA PPL THERE.


 

LIL-PRINCESS

THAT SOUND GR8! J


 

Panel Two: In the foreground we can see the back of the fat man, he wears a long Mac but we can see naked legs popping out of the bottom. In the background the little girl sits on a bench facing away from the reader looking around.


 

GARY

YOU HAVE TO CAREFUL TRYING TO GET THEM TO MEET YOU SEE. NOT ONLY ARE THEY CAUTIOUS YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE NO OUTSIDERS CATCH ON.


 

Panel Three: Almost a reverse of the previous panel. The Little girl is now in the foreground looking around innocently whilst in the back ground the sinister fat man approaches.


 

GARY

THE CLIMAX CAN BE THE HARDEST. YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE SURE NOT TO GIVE THE GAME AWAY TIL THE LAST SECOND. THE LAST THING YOU NEED IS A CHASE.


 

Panel Four: The fat man now stands opposite the little girl. She looks up to him with wide eyes as he stands with his hands in his pockets.


 

FATMAN

CHRISTINA? SARAH SENT ME TO GET YOU?


 

LITTLE GIRL

OH. I THINK THERES BEEN A MISUNDERSTANDING.


 

Panel Five: A frontal view of the little girl. She is smiling. Her eyes have become cat like and in the corners of her mouth we can see little tentacles.


 

LITTLE GIRL

MY NAME ISN'T CHRISTINA OR STAR GIRL. IT'S GARY


 


 

PAGE THREE


 

Panel One: A large Panel. The little girl's mouth is now open past human capacity, as barbed, toothed tentacles fly out and begin to wrap around the fat man's body leg, arms and mouth. He has a desperate look in his eyes as he tries to flee in vain. His Mac is now open to reveal that he is just in his under wear.


 

Panel Two. Close up of the little girl face with the tentacles bringing the fat man's head closer to her mouth.


 

GARY

GETTING EVERYTHING RIGHT ON WHILST HUNTING CAN BE TRICKY, BUT WHEN YOU GET IT RIGHT IT'S WORTH THE EFFORT.


 

Panel Three: In the foreground we see the fat man's spectacles and Mac on the floor, in the background the little girl skips of merrily.


 

GARY

BON APPETIT.


 


 

THE END.


 

Monday 23 August 2010

1/5

This is the script for the first part of a five part story I'm producing called "Circus" with a Canadian artist called Anthony Healy. Art should be on its way soon.

Circus

PART ONE: COME ONE, COME ALL


 

PAGE ONE


 


 


 

Panel One: A spotlight shines on a single figure, Mr Ghede. A black ringmaster clad in classic attire he is skinny and tall with dreadlocks rolling down from beneath his top hat. He wears a devilish smile as he stand with his arms open wide as if to display the darkness that surrounds him.


 

MR GHEDE

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN YOU ARE HERE TONIGHT BECAUSE YOU DARE TO BE CHALLENGED. YOU ARE PIONEERS, EXPLORERS OF THE REALMS OF REALITY AND SANITY. TONIGHT YOU WILL SEE THINGS THAT MORTALS ARE NEVER MEANT TO SEE, PAST THE MASQUERADE OF NORMALITY INTO THE REALMS OF THE STRANGE AND MYSTERIOUS. WELCOME ONE AND ALL...


 

Panel Two: View from the top of the tent. The lights have come up and we can now see the circus in full swing. Mr Ghede stands in the centre of the ring looking upwards. Harlequins swings from high wires whilst jesters frolic around the ring. Magicians stand on pillars directing the chaos like generals spouting cards, doves and wands. Elephants rear up at the back off the ring whilst musicians pound massive drums rhythmically.


 

MR GHEDE

TO MR GHEDE'S CIRCUS OF MARVELS AND MAGIC!


 

Panel Three: A side view of Mr Ghede still addressing his audience, around him gymnasts cartwheel and the celebrations continue. We can now see the members of the audience, in the centre sits Nathan Andrews and his twin children Thomas and Bethany. Nathan is dressed in sensible clothes for cold weather, as are his children. Nathan has his arms around the two smiling happily as the two children look on in amazement.


 

MR GHEDE

IT IS MY PLEASURE TO INTRODUCE TO YOU "THE HARLEQUINS OF BABYLONIA".


 

Panel Four: Nathan and his children leave are leaving the circus tent. The circus is still going on inside and light pours out of the entrance. The circus tent itself is a dark midnight blue with arcane stars and moons adoring it. Thomas sits on his father's shoulders point to the distance whilst Bethany holds onto his hand attempting to drag him towards her goal. Nathan smiles despite being dragged in opposite directions.


 

THOMAS

I WANNA GO SEE THE HAUNTED HOUSE OR THE LION TAMER. NO NO WAIT THE LIZARD MAN!


 

BETHANY

THOSE ARE BOYS THINGS; I WANT TO SEE THE DANCERS!


 

NATHAN

DONT WORRY YOU TWO WE'VE GOT ALL NIGHT, QUIT PULLING ME ABOUT.


 

Panel Five: Nathan stands transfixed at a wooden caravan. On the side of the caravan the words "Diotima: Mistress of the Fortunes" is written is fading red paint. The children continue pulling their father frowning at his decision.


 

NATHAN

HEY LETS CHECK THIS OUT. WADDYA SAY?


 

BETHANY

BUT WERE GONNA MISS THE DANCERS!


 

THOMAS

AWW DAD THAT'S ALL JUST FOOEY!


 

NATHAN

C'MON YOU GUYS. IT'LL BE FUN TO KNOW THE FUTURE. MAYBE I'LL WIN THE LOTTERY AND I CAN QUIT MY JOB HUH, SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU.


 


 


 

PAGE TWO


 

Panel One: Interior of the caravan. The creaking wooden shelves are cluttered with various arcane trinkets. On one of the lower shelves sits a wooden Jester, as with the rest of the caravan, the Jester is worse for wear with chipped and faded paint. Nathan is entering the caravan, pushing away the clothe that passed for a door. He is hunched over looking politely to find the inhabitants. His children stand by his side looking bored and unpleased with his decision.


 

NATHAN

HELLO? ANYBODY IN HERE?


 

DIOTIMA (OFF)

ENTER OFFICER ANNDREWS. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU.


 

Panel Two: View from behind the family now. Nathan has moved deeper into the caravan and now stands at a table holding the hands of his children who look over their shoulders curiously at the Jester who has now become animated ad is cheerfully strolling out of the caravan. Nathan, not noticing the puppet, keeps looking at Doitima, an elderly and frail women in lose draping clothes that her face can barely been seen through.


 

NATHAN

HOW DID YOU...


 

THOMAS

ER DAD?


 

NATHAN

ONE MINUTE TOM, HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS A COP?


 

DIOTIMA

YOUR PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE ARE BUT THREADS THE TAPESTRY OF YOUR LIFE NATHAN. I SIMPLY PICK AT THE THREADS I WANT TO FOLLOW.


 


 

Panel Three: Nathan stands with a look of confusion on his face transfixed on Diotima, who proceeds to play the tarot card; the Hermit. Thomas has released his father's hand and has begun to make his way to the caravan door. Bethany watches him leave over her shoulder with a look of concern on her face.


 

BETHANY

DAD THOMAS...


 

NATHAN

HOLD ON HONEY. WHAT IS THIS?


 

DIOTIMA

SHALL WE START? "THE HERMIT REVERSED". AN ACT OF PAST WEAKNESS LEADING TO YOUR CURRENT STATE. GREED?


 

Panel Four: a view from the door way as Bethany stand momentarily to look back at her father before she tries to retrieve her brother. In the background the reading continues. Nathan hasn't noticed the children leaving him but is now paying close attention to the seer.


 

NATHAN

I DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT.


 

DIOTIMA

PERHAPS THE NEXT CARD WILL SHED SOME REVELATIONS.


 

Panel Five: a long shot. In the foreground we see the Jester still happily marching. Behind him Thomas is making ground and still further behind him Bethany has begun pursuit. The light from the caravan floods out into the now empty fairground.


 

JESTER

DO-DO-DO-DAH, DAH-DO-DE


 

THOMAS

HEY WAIT UP MR CLOWN!


 


 

PAGE THREE


 

Panel One: Inside the caravan the reading continues. Diotima sits at her table presenting the cards to Nathan, her arm gliding through the air as she does. On the table we can see the Hermit, and Chariot cards with the deck remaining to on her right facedown.


 

DIOTIMA

THE PRESENT. "THE CHARIOT REVERSED". A MISSUSE OF POWERS AND TALENTS. IS THERE SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT TELLING YOUR SUPERIORS OFFICER?


 

NATHAN

HOW'D? LISTEN LADY I DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR TRYING TO IMP BUT STOP IT.


 

Panel Two: The Jester has ceased his march and stands on the right of the panel. He leans with on foot forward, a hand resting on his hip and the other hand offered out in explanation. Opposite him stands Bethany whilst Thomas crouches, they both have inquisitive looks on their faces.


 

BETHANY

ARE YOU MAGIC MR CLOWN?


 

THOMAS

DONT BE STUPID, THERES NO SUCH THING!


 

JESTER

FIRSTLY MY NAME IS VIVERE, BUT YOU CAN CALL ME VERE. AND SECONDLY YOUNG SQUIRE, IF THERES NO SUCH THING AS MAGIC HOW IM I TALKING AND WALKING.


 

THOMAS

IT MUST BE A TRICK!


 

JESTER

HAHA! MOST INTUITIVE ALAS INCORRECT. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE HOW MAGIC REALLY WORKS?


 

Panel Three: Nathan, on the right of the panel now stands with a scornful look at the seer, shrugging his shoulders at her divinations. Diotima continues the reading despite his protests.


 

DOITIMA

"JUDGEMENT" YOU WILL FACE A TEST, A CHALLENGE.


 

NATHAN

REALLY? A CHALLENGE IN MY FUTURE? NOT EXACTLY NOSTRADAMUS.


 


 

DIOTIMA

THIS CARD IS NOT YOU FUTURE, IT IS YOUR PRESENT.


 

NATHAN

WHATEVER. WE'RE OUT OF HERE.


 

DIOTIMA

"WE"? IT WOULD APPEAR YOUR CHILDREN HAVE ALREADY BEEN TAKEN OFFICER.


 

Panel Four: In the foreground Bethany looks back towards the caravan off panel, whilst in the back ground Thomas and the Jester have begun to walk in the direction of more circus attractions. Bethany looks apprehensive at following them but can't resist the opportunity.


 

JESTER

THIS WAY MY YOUNG WARDS. OFF TO SEE THE ALVISIO, FELLOW OF WITCHCRAFT AND MAGICIAN EXTRAORDINAIRE.


 

BETHANY

HEY WAIT UP YOU TWO!


 

Panel Five: Nathan angrily grabs on the table baring his teeth at Diotima, still unfazed his indicates with her hand to the general direction of the Big Top tent. All three cards can now be seen on the table.


 

NATHAN

WHERE ARE THEY?!


 

DIOTIMA

THE TEST BEGINS. YOU WILL HAVE TO OVERCOME YOUR OWN SELFISHNESS TO SAVE YOUR CHILDREN.


 

NATHAN

GODDAMMIT! TELL ME WITCH!


 

DIOTIMA

YOU CHALLENGE BEGINS IN THE BIG TOP. GHEDE AWAITS YOU THERE.


 


 


 

PAGE FOUR


 

Panel One: Nathan stands at the entrance of the Big Top. He stands legs apart ready for action. His face is keen and sterns


 

MR GHEDE (OFF)

AHH OUR BRAVE CHAMPION ARRIVES TO FACE THE EVILS OF GHEDE.


 

Panel Two: Nathan springs forward with arms outstretched from the left to the right of the panel his face contorted in rage. Mr Ghede stands opposite, leaning nonchalantly on a cane whilst inspecting his fingernails. His attire is similar to previous except his jacket and hats are now white, and his faces has white skull painted onto his face.


 

NATHAN

WHERE ARE THEY YOU BASTARD!?


 

MR GHEDE

THE CHILDREN ARE FREE FROM HARM.


 

Panel Three: Nathan is crashing into the floor face first, he body lifting up the sand on the centre right as he skids towards the reader. Ghede stand the background with his back to the reader and Nathan, of his hands is outstretched as his continues to examine his nails. He is split at the mid-drift where Nathans passed through him as he lunged. Smokey tendrils follow Nathans trajectory.


 

MR GHEDE

PLEASE, THE SOONER YOU STOP THIS BOISTEROUS CHILDISHNESS THE SOON YOU CAN HAVE YOU LITTE CHERUBS BACK.


 

NATHAN

OOOHHFF!


 

Panel Four: Nathan, now standing and filthy, holds a hand to his lip that trickles blood. His face shows his pain, both from the fall and from the embarrassment.


 

NATHAN

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?


 

Panel Five: Ghede stand with his cane resting across the back of his shoulders, a hand at either end of it pulling the cane down. He smiles menacingly as he is slowly reformed by the smoke.


 

MR GHEDE

THIS IS THE "JUDGEMENT". HOWEVER I LIKE TO THINK OF IT AS REDEMPTION. YOU ARE A WICKED MAN OFFICER ANDREWS. EXTORTION. CORRUPTION. MURDER. THESE ARE YOUR SINS. THESE ARE THE REASONS THAT I WILL TAKE YOUR CHILDREN FROM YOU, UNLESS THAT IS YOU PASS MY TESTS.


 


 

PAGE FIVE


 


 

Panel One: Ghede stands on the left opposite Nathan who is angry but helpless. Ghede has his hands out in front of him; in one he holds a battered teddy bear, in the other a pistol. His cane floats in the air as his hands are occupied.


 

NATHAN

WHY PUNISH ME? THERE MUST BE HUNDRED OF CROOKED COPS OUT THERE?


 

MR GHEDE

AH AH OFFICER ANDREWS ALL IN GOOD TIME. NOW I CONSIDER MYSELF A FAIR MAN AND AS SUCH I'LL EVEN OFFER YOU A LITTLE TOOL TO HELP YOU THROUGH THIS TASK. YOUR PISTOL OR THIS CHILDS TOY?


 

Panel Two: Small panel of a hand grabbing the pistol.


 

Panel Three: Nathan stands with the gun to Mr Ghede's head. Nathan looks appropriately serious whilst Ghede smiles jovially holding his hands up. The teddy bear remain in his hand. His cane continues to float around.


 

NATHAN

WHERE ARE THEY!?


 

MR GHEDE

YOU REALLY THINK THAT'LL DO ANYTHING TO ME AFTER YOUR LITTLE FALL.


 

NATHAN

WHERE?!!


 

MR GHEDE

"ANA'S SEE ALL SHOW TENT". THE DANCER THERE WILL SHOW YOU THE WAY. REMEMBER? BETHANY WANTED TO SEE THE DANCERS. OH HOW REMISS OF ME. YOU HAVE TIL MIDNIGHT TO COMPLETE THE TASK OTHERWISE I KEEP THE CHILDREN.


 

Panel Four: Nathan blows Ghede's head away. There is a splatter of tenebrous shadows and tendrils.


 

Panel Five: Ghede stands at the forefront of the panel. His face slowly reconstructs itself in the same manner as earlier. He looks down at the teddy bear still in his hand with half his face. In the background we can see the Nathan exiting the Big Top at pace.


 

MR GHEDE

HE'LL REGRET THAT, THEY ALL DO.


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

Republic

This was the first comic I ever wrote. It's the prelude to a sci-fi series I had in my noggin. One day I'll return to it but for now it sit there being unproduced.

Prologue


 

PAGE ONE


 

PANEL ONE. Big Panel , depicting New Athens. In particular the towers of the polis, a massive, shiny, beacon that towers around the sprawling city around it. The sky is blight blue with very few clouds in the distance we can almost see other towers, but these are smaller. City halls in comparison to this Senate.


 


 

Thought Box 1: New Athens; Birthplace of The Republic.


 

Thought Box 2: A utopia, the only of its kind, thanks to three groups…


 


 

PANEL TWO. A long thin panel. A half built structure with scaffolding around it, on the scaffolding are various construction workers, all wearing blue overalls, but with various tool belts, helmets etc.


 


 

Thought Box 1: the Citizens…


 

Recorded voice (off): …without you our republic would fall, you are the bricks with which out our great nation would fall. You pro…


 

Thought Box 2:… merchants, trades men and workers.


 


 

PANEL THREE. A long thin panel. A group of armour police officers suiting up, in front of some lockers, in the background, a senior officer, already dressed.


 


 

Thought Box 1: The auxiliaries…


 

Sergeant: Remember men, we are the reason why our republic still stands, without us, everything would fall into to chaos, make sure you remember that when your out there. Now hurry up before I have to…


 

Thought Box 2:… soldiers, law enforcers and guardians


 


 

PANEL FOUR. Same style panel, Shows a desk with various dials and screens on it, one screen depicts a class room , focus on one child, wearing white clothes, with dark hair. The child is in his early teens. We can see two hands on the desk as if our view is from over the shoulder of whoever is at the desk.


 


 

Thought Box 1: The Polis…


 

Computer voice(off): Subject Code:XVIINA. Designation: Nathaniel…


 

Thought Box 2:… the real reason the republic still stands.


 


 

PAGE TWO


 

PANEL ONE. From behind the desk. We can see a polis member sat at a chair at a desk, in front a massive screen with the same image that we saw on the desk screen. Either side on these screen are more monitors with images of the child from different angles and partaking in various activities, such as fencing, science, and debate. The rest of the lab seems to be dimly lit with various lights, dials and technology.


 


 

Computer Voice 1:… latest test scores. Sciences. Chemistry 100% in all fields. Biology 100% in all field except genetics. Genetics score 97%.Physics 100% in all fields. Polis…


 

Jairus 1: Computer, give me the results of his potential evaluation.


 

Computer Voice 2:Potential evaluation for Nathaniel xvii. Whilst excelling in scientific and rational thought, Nathaniel has also

shown levels of physical ability and compassion that is suited for life in the Auxiliaries. His tutors have recommended that he be taken into the polis as he has displayed potential beyond his peers…


 

Jairus 2: Enough. Patch me through to Coeus. Designation: I NA POL…


 


 

PANEL TWO. Coeus walking along a white hall, in a hurry. She is wearing a ceremonial robe and has to elite class auxiliaries flanking her.


 


 

Communicator Voice: Incoming call from Jairus Designation: II…


 

Coeus: Accept. What is it Jairus, I'm just about to have a meeting with the inner circle.?


 


 

PANEL THREE. A frontal view of Jairus. He looks exhausted, rubbing his face with one hand, obscuring half his face. His other eye is closed.


 


 

Jairus: after reviewing all the information and footage of the child, it would seem that the child would be should be sent to the polis school, he's score are some of the highest ever seen and all his tutors think that's where he should go. The only drawn back is that it has been reported that he shows high levels of compassion and sentimentality


 


 

PANEL FOUR. Frontal view of Coeus again.


 


 

Coeus 1: Hmmm, check the records for anyone that was given similar results. Perhaps we can establish a protocol here.


 


 

PANEL FIVE. Same view of Jairus, except now his hand has moved and his eyes are open.


 


 

Jairus 1: computer run results for Nathaniel D. XVII against databases.


 

Computer Voice 1: Closest match found. Dates 897 Republic standard calendar.


 

Jairus 2: Just one match, dates over twenty years old though.


 

Coeus 1 (off): Go ahead.


 

Jairus 3:Ursus. Designation: II TR AUX. Recently promoted to Stratigos, fighting out near Gaul apparently.


 


 

PANEL SIX. Coeus stops walking, she looks worried.


 


 

Coeus 1: Ursus! Hmm, I've heard about him. The auxiliaries love him, caused some trouble for the inner circle in the past I think. Hmmm, the child will be sent to the auxiliary training facilities, however, if he survives make sure he isn't sent to Ursus' company.


 

Jairus (off)1: can I ask why?


 

Coeus 2: No, just get it done. I'll speak to you later, end communications.


 


 

PAGE THREE


 


 

PANEL ONE. View from behind Jairus. Long, thin panel.


 


 

PANEL TWO. Same panel


 


 

Jairus 1:Computer, bring up the file on Code: Ursus, designation: II TR AUX


 


 

PANEL THREE. Frontal Bust view of Coeus, looking down and fixing her robe


 


 

Coeus 1(to self): I don't know why I agreed to take that boy on. Causes more problems than his worth.


 


 

PANEL FOUR. view from behind Coeus, She is stood at two massive doors, with heavily armoured auxiliaries stood either side.


 


 

Coeus 1: I'm here to see the Circle. Name Coeus. Designation NA I…

PANEL FOUR. Same view, the doors begin to open


 


 

Coeus 1: …Ah


 

Cato (off) 1: Your late Coeus.


 


 

PANEL FIVE. View looking down from behind Cato's left shoulder. In a dark hall way, light pouring in from the door way as Coeus steps in, silhouetted.


 


 

Coeus 1: Ah Cato, I'm honoured the Circle sent you to fetch me, I really am.


 

Cato 1: If only you were as punctual as are witty Coeus, you wouldn't have been this Late at least.


 

Coeus 2: Please Cato you know that this is a trivial visit, the council have already approved my proposal, this is mere bureaucracy.


 

PANEL SIX. Cato and Coeus walking side by side, Cato looking up to Coeus, slightly lagging behind her.


 


 

Cato 1: Ah yes, your proposal. Your aware your not the first to forward this idea . Last time someone came forward with this the Circle rejected it, they thought it was dangerous.


 

Coeus 1: Indeed however, that was when the republic was young and was still being established, plus the fact we didn't have the technology to back the idea. Thanks to me the latter isn't a problem anymore.


 

Cato 2: if it were up to me the proposal would never be passed, regardless of technology.


 


 

PAGE FOUR


 


 

PANEL ONE. View of the back of Coeus. She's looking over her shoulder at Cato who has stopped walking. She is walking into the light.


 

Coeus 1: Then I suppose the republic Should be thankful that it isn't up to you.


 


 

PANEL TWO. Cato looking extremely disgruntled


 


 

PANEL THREE. A Massive forum like room, with loads of polis members in the seats. At a slightly more decorated section, five polis members decorated in black robes stand. Coeus stand in the centre of the forum awaiting. Angle of view should be low looking up into the forum with Coeus a the forefront.


 


 

PANEL FOUR. Direct shot of the Inner Circle. One Stands. They all look stern.


 


 

Inner Circle Speaker 1: Coeus I NA POL, we summoned you here today to tell you that your proposal has been approved. The council felt that given our levels social stability and your promising research into the fields of eugenics and genetics, we can at last attempt to remove the breeding ceremonies from our culture, just strengthening each castes contribution to the republic.


 

PANEL FIVE. Coeus face. She has a wry smile.


 


 

Coeus 1: Thank you council. I'm very please to hear that.


 


 

PANEL SIX. Single Shot of the speaker


 

Inner Circle Speaker 1: In light of this it is also our privilege to inform you that you will be moving into the inner circle as deputy of progression in science, and as such you will be responsible for over seeing the change from the old system to the new. There is to be one last breeding ceremony at the end of this week, after which the new system must be fully operational.


 


 

PANEL SEVEN. Coeus face. She is almost grinning.


 


 

Coeus : I'm honou…


 


 

PANEL EIGHT. Close up of speaker.


 


 

Speaker: Coeus. Your proposal caused much debate between the inner circle and as such, your every move in the upcoming week is going to be scrutinized. I've been told to inform you, that if this project shows any weaknesses at you are to be removed from you dishonourably removed from your position. I'm sure your aware what that means. Speak to Cato on your way out, he will give you your new papers regarding your new position. That is all.


 


 

PAGE FIVE


 


 

PANEL ONE. Frontal view from above of Coeus bowing slightly. The door opening behind her. Most of the Forum can be seen. Coeus should be relatively small in the panel.


 


 

Coeus 1: Thank you.


 


 

PANEL TWO. Coeus turning. The door now fully opened, Cato is stood waiting.


 

PANEL THREE. Frontal of Coeus with Cato Struggling to keep up. Coeus is grinning, whilst Cato looks frustrated.


 


 

Coeus 1: Aren't you going to congratulate me Cato.


 

Cato 1: I don't think I have to tell you that I disagree with the decision with your ideas. But if the Circle have approved it, then it is what's best for the Republic.


 

Coeus 2: I'm glad to see that wisdom has finally come with age.


 


 

PANEL FOUR. Coeus and Cato walking side by side, Cato looking up to Coeus again.


 


 

Cato 1: And yet you still don't listen to me.


 

Coeus 1: True, however the other problem with age is the inability to accept change. Even if it is for the greater good.


 


 

PANEL FIVE. Same panel.


 


 

Coeus 1: You forget Cato, that my last proposal increased the productivity of the Civilians by ten percent. And you foolishly disagreed with me then.


 

Cato 1: Yes well, neuter isn't a word you often hear associated with humans.


 

Coeus 2: Cato, those who under go the treatment do so that the Republic can be strengthened. Beside you can hardly call some of them Humans. Now about my new duties…


 


 

PAGE SIX


 


 

PANEL ONE. A Trench. A group of Auxiliaries are backed against the wall. Ursus is with them, they're in light armour. A explosion is happening in the back ground. There are heavily armoured soldiers (possible mech suits) firing towards the trench. Should be a large panel.


 


 

Thought Box 1: Somewhere in Gaul.


 


 

PANEL TWO. Headshot of Ursus. Slightly Turning his head to his troops. He's shouting into a communicator so to be heard over the shelling.


 


 

Ursus 1: Valdis! Where the hell is the E.M.P. drop. Where pinned here.


 

Valdis (over comm.) 1: You have ten seconds.


 


 

PANEL THREE. Headshot of Ursus again.


 


 

Ursus 1: Okay men, as soon as we get the signal for the drop. We form a loose shield wall, I'll take point. Understood.


 

Troops (together)1: Yes sir!


 


 

PANEL FOUR. View from over the edge of the trench. The groups head are visible, but they're shield are raised up to protect there face.


 


 

Valdis (over comm.)1: T-minus 5,4,3…


 

Ursus 1: Get ready…


 

Valdis 2: …2, 1


 


 

PANEL FIVE. View of some Gaul troops. Something is landing in the ground next to them.


 


 

PANEL SIX. Whatever just landed, exploding only giving off a blue light. In a bubble.


 


 

PAGE SEVEN


 


 

PANEL ONE: A frontal view of the unit charging forward. In a with shields ready. They all look intense, and ready for battle, panel should have explosive feel, maybe he formation should almost look like a flying V with Ursus at the point. Long bar panel.


 


 

Ursus 1: CHARGE!


 


 

PANEL TWO: The Unit crashing into the confused Gallic line, whose ranged weapons have ceased working, a sergeant attempt to draw a sword but is quickly impales by one of the unit. Some of the troops should look terrified as they are hacked and stabbed. The mech suits should be motionless, save for a few pilots trying to clamber out of them. The Unit are flawless in battle, some shielding one another as they hack away, Gaul's getting hit in the face with shields. Its key that this appear to be brutal as it will later be referenced by Ursus.


 


 

PANEL THREE: Two mech units with the pilots escaping, one is trying to get his seat belt undone the other is staring to run away.


 

Stuck pilot 1: Fuck don't leave me , you fucker…


 


 

PANEL FOUR: The stuck pilot is speared by an auxiliary , the pilot is higher up than the auxiliary and the spear has gone straight through his stomach. Blood explodes out of both his stomach and his mouth.


 


 

Stuck Pilot 1: GAKKK!


 


 

PAGE EIGHT


 


 

PANEL ONE: View for behind the auxiliary pulling out his spear and the pilots entrails spilling out on to the floor, in the distance is the pilot that fled. The auxiliary doesn't seem to be looking at his victim.


 


 

Fleeing pilot 1: gah… fuck, fuck… gah, shit…


 


 

PANEL TWO: a frontal view of the fleeing pilot , a spear head is bursting from his stomach, his face is a portrait of agony as blood seem to splash from his mouth. In the back ground we can see an auxiliary finishing his throwing arc next to the mech, behind him we can see the rest on the unit finishing of there enemy.


 


 

PANEL THREE: Frontal of Ursus cleaving away an enemy. He has blood spattered all over him, His face is shadowed, only his eyes and screaming mouth are visible, his victim is silhouetted.


 


 

Ursus 1: RAAHHHH!


 


 

PANEL FOUR: A view from behind Ursus, there is a small explosion of blood from his right elbow as a pistol flashes in the distance where we can see a unit of Gaul's shooting over a trench with different weapons from earlier.


 


 

PANEL FIVE: in the Gaul trench we can see the commanders handing out contemporary hand pistols. The soldiers are throwing there electrical weapons to the ground and looking at the new weapons with confusion.


 


 

Ursus (off) 1: Men form a Testudo on me, they're switching to mechanical.


 


 

PANEL SIX: the unit in a tightly form testudo, they are peering through the cracks whilst bullets ping from them,


 


 

Ursus 1: Heh, Normally takes them longer to figure it out. Okay men you know what to do. Slow march forward then storm the trench! Our armour should protect us, that weaponry has low penetration capabilities. March!


 


 

PAGE NINE


 


 

PANEL ONE: In a trench, Ursus is sat down leaning on a small table with his head in his hand. On the table is his helmet, his face and armour are covered in dirt and blood. There is a Polis liaison stood talking to him, pristine despite the filth around her. Various troops are walking around busying themselves with military type jobs. There is a doorway within one of the trench walls.


 


 

Thought Box: Gaul trenches sometime later.


 

Polis Liaison 1: Congratulations on another fine victory Ursus. You truly are a hero of the Republic.


 

Ursus 1: Enough. I know exactly what I am …(whispered to self) regardless of what the republic thinks of me)


 

Polis Liaison 2:Pardon?


 

Ursus 2: Nothing. What news is there from Athens.


 


 

PANEL TWO: Direct view of Ursus sat on the chair. He has begun unfastening parts of his armour. He hardly seems to be listening to the liaison.


 


 

Polis Liaison 1: Well I'm sure you'll be glad to know that, rather than put more pressure on you, the academy has decided to send the new students and neophytes further north to study under Stratigos Chiron.


 

Ursus 1: Good man


 


 

PANEL THREE: Similar view except Ursus is removing his gauntlets.


 


 

Polis Liaison 1: As you know The peoples states of Kievan and Albion refused to trade with us in attempt to stop our integration of Gaul. However recent diplomatic talks with the two nation have result in declarations of war from both forces who are allying themselves with one another…


 

Ursus 1: Predictable.


 


 

PANLE FOUR: Once again same view. However this time Ursus has his gauntlets removed and is glaring at the reader.


 


 

Polis Liaison 1: And as such you and your men are to stay here in Gaul to prepare defences for a possible attack from Albion.


 

Ursus 1: What?! My men and I where suppose to be taken from the front line next week. To prepare a proper defence against an invasion could take up to two months.


 

Polis Liaison 2: What is an extra six weeks to the Republics most loyal company?


 


 

PANEL FIVE: An irate Ursus has exploded from his seat and grabbed the polis liaison by the collar. He towers over her as she trembles with fear.


 


 

Ursus 1: An extra six weeks makes me a liar. And if I'm a liar how are these men supposed to trust me marching into battle!


 

Polis liaison 1: I…its out of my hands… there's nothing you can do now.


 


 

PANEL SIX: View from behind the polis liaison with Ursus standing over her enraged. Just behind Ursus a auxiliary is approaching.


 


 

Polis Liaison 1: I'm sorry… I was told that you'd understand, that you're the only company the republic can rely on for this…


 

Auxiliary 1: Sir Pterarchos Valdis is waiting for you.


 


 

PANEL SEVEN: Same view except Ursus is walking away , he is waving his hand towards the Liaison.


 


 

Auxiliary 1: Sir Pterarchos Valdis is waiting for you.


 

Ursus: Tell Athens, I'm going to needed a defences attachment for this, your dismissed.


 


 


 

PAGE TEN


 


 

PANEL ONE: Ursus walking into through the door way, over his shoulder the polis liaison is still stood there. Ursus looks menacing as the shadows cast on to him.


 


 

Ursus 1: Go. Before I change my mind.


 


 

PANEL TWO: A large table project a green hologram outline of the surrounding trenches. Either side of the table are Ursus pointing a finger and shouting. Valdis is studying the map.

Ursus 1: You've got some nerve. Your delay on that E.M.P. drop almost got me killed. I don't know if you'd noticed from up there in your little planes but there is a fucking war going on down here! This is the last time I let you jeopardise my units!.


 


 

PANEL TWO: frontal view of Valdis, she is leaning on the table with her arms still looking up at map.


 


 

Valdis 1: I apologise. But you lived didn't you?


 


 

PANEL THREE: Ursus has begun making his way out of the room.


 


 

Ursus 1: You're a liability. I'm putting in a request to get a different aerial attachment.


 


 

PANEL FOUR: Frontal of Valdis again, she's moved from behind the table so she's fully exposed, she is finally looking a Ursus.


 


 

Valdis 1:You'll be denied. I'm the best Pterarchos there is. And since where going to be stuck here for the next few months. I think its about time you learnt to trust me.


 

Ursus 1 (off): Trust is a two way thing, you don't trust my decisions enough to follow my orders.


 

Valdis 2: I know and that's why I'm suggesting we perform the act of the Sacred band of Thebes.


 


 

PANEL FIVE: Ursus has turned around. He looks sombre. He is staring straight at Valdis.


 

Ursus 1: I assume this is a joke. The act has to be sanction by the inner circle, which they only do in the most dire of situations. The last time was during the fledgling years of the Republic. All that aside the act can only be performed between two males.


 


 

PAGE ELEVEN


 


 

PANEL ONE: Quite a large panel. Big enough to fit a full view of both characters as is Valdis beginning to approach Ursus. She looks stern, but also sexy. She isn't intentionally trying to do so. Ursus has his eyes fixed upon her.


 


 

Valdis 1: You know I've read your file don't you. I know you were almost exiled by the inner circle.


 

Ursus 1: Exactly. Almost, they had made a mistake.


 

Valdis 2: We both know that the circle doesn't make mistakes. They don't know how. No. You escaped thanks to lack of evidence. They couldn't get you men to testify against you. Which makes sense given the crime.


 

Ursus 2: …


 


 

PANEL TWO: Valdis has walked past Ursus now, making her way to the door but he hasn't moved. He isn't even looking at her anymore.


 


 

Valdis 1: I could understand your reasons for allowing it to happen. You were dead to the Republic. You and your men were demoralized, facing death…


 


 

PANEL THREE: Frontal view of Ursus, he is staring into nothingness. In the back ground Valdis has stopped at the door and turned around to look back at him.


 


 

Valdis 1:… or glory.


 

Valdis 2: With the highly likely approach of an Albion army, we're inevitably going to be placed under great strain. We both know we're going to have to place more trust in each other.


 


 

PANEL FOUR: Ursus stood at the hologram desk. He is still motionless. The green light illuminates his front. He continuing to scare aimlessly into space.


 


 

Valdis 1 (off): Your not the only one who'd like to survive this war you know..


 


 

PANEL FIVE: Ursus crashes both his fists onto the table with an instant crack emerging. He is enraged.


 


 

Ursus 1: Aargh!


 


 

PANEL SIX: Ursus still stood at the desk with his fists in the table.


 


 

PAGE TWELVE


 


 


 

PANEL ONE: The houses of parliament , except surrounding it are other tall Victorian and gothic buildings.


 


 

Thought Box 1 : The Peoples Socialist State of Albion.


 

PANEL TWO: A quite humble office. A well presented man(the prime minister) sits behind a desk gazing intensely at a man sat the other side in uniform. There are a couple of maids with tea trays approaching the desk.


 


 

Prime Minister Owen 1:What defences can w expect them to set up in Gaul?


 

Commander Thompson 1: We expect them to set up many small camps that they'll use to house and train there young troops with a number of larger encampment that will be home to three maybe four of there most experienced Stratigos.


 


 

PANEL THREE: A frontal of the Prime minister as a maid put the tea on his desk.


 


 

PM Owen 1: I see, well the Kiev has inform me that we are to get rid of a lot of our electrical armour and weaponry and prepare for lot of close combat encounters with the enemy. Are our forces prepared for this?


 

Commander Thompson (off)1: Indeed we are sir. Additionally I recommend that you suggest to the Kiev that they co-operate in some of our more covert operations.


 


 

PANEL FOUR: Frontal view of the commander taking a cup and saucer from the maid. He smiling slightly.


 


 

PM Owen 1: Covert Operations?


 

Commander Thompson 1: Yes Prime minister, we have had counter intelligence operative set up in the Republic for some time now.


 

PM Owen 2 :Spies? How far have they infiltrated?


 


 

PANEL FIVE: View of a busy street in New Athens filled with workers busying themselves in street, the sun is glaring down and the street looks hectic with various workers carrying/using building materials or just generally looking busy.


 

Thought Box 1: New Athens, Workers District.


 


 

Commander Thompson 1 (off): Into the very foundation.


 


 

END


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

Eden Project

This is a story I wrote for Jolly Rogue Studios. Its part of an anthology called "Eden Can be Seen Through Barbwire" and it will be out soon for y'all to purchase. I'd through up some of the art for it but I think it's still under lock and key at the moment.


 


 

"The Big Push"


 

Note The Story is set during World War One, so clothes, technology hairstyles etc. should be fitting for the period.


 

Panel One: A British Sergeant is standing in a hallway to the left of a wooden door. His arm is in a cast and he has a patch over his eye. He stands at attention despite the fact he is alone and has a stoic look on his face.


 

Caption: November 10th 1916

Colonel (off): Enter!


 

Panel Two: View from behind sergeant as he enters the room. It's filled with boards containing highlighted maps and various photographs of terrain and troops. Directly in front of the Sergeant is a large desk also covered with various files, reports and papers. A single chair sits in between the sergeant and the desk. Behind the desk sits a large, moustachioed Colonel. The Colonel has one hand on the arm of his chair as though he is making the effort to stand up on the sergeant's arrival with his other hand indicating towards the chair.


 

Colonel: Ah! Harrison. Come in, take a seat. I take it you know why you're here Harrison?

Harrison: Sir, I'm here to report the events of October 29th.

Colonel: Very Good. Tea?


 

Panel Three: Frontal of Harrison now sitting down: He has a very serious look on his face.


 

Harrison: No thank you, sir. I'd prefer it if we could get on with it, sir.


 

Panel Four: Frontal View of the Colonel. His arms are resting on the table in front of him as he leans forward. His eyes are looking down at the form in front of him as his hand hovers with a pen over it.


 

Colonel: Very well. Straight to business it is then. The sooner this is over the quicker we can get back to giving the Gerries what for, eh? Start form the 25th if you could Harrison.


 


 

PAGE TWO


 

Panel One: Panel spreading the length of the top of the page. All that's in it is the very top of the trench adorned with barbed wire.


 

Caption: Yes sir. Before "The Push" order came through, I imagine our trench was the same as everybody else's.


 

Panel Two: Frontal view of two soldiers sitting on boxes with their backs against a muddy trench wall. The first only has one boot on with the other stood up next to him as he pulls on a thick woolly sock, he has a blanket resting on his shoulders. The second soldier has a blanket wrapped around him and his face can barely be seen between the blanket and his helmet.


 

Caption: We maintained equipment.

First Soldier: It's no use. I can't keep my feet dry long enough for the other pair to have dried out!

Second Soldier: It least you've got a second pair of socks mate. This is my only blanket and it's infested. I swear if Fritz doesn't get me, these bleeding lice will.


 

Panel Three: In the middle of the panel in the back ground is a spectacled soldier sitting down with paper on his lap, he is looking into the foreground along the trench to two soldiers stood facing one another on either side on the panel squatting against the trench walls.


 

Caption: Ate what food we could.

Spectacled Soldier: Has anyone got some spare paper?

Solider on left: Just write on your biscuit. That's about all they're good for. That and breaking teeth.

Soldier on Right: Now be fair, lads. If we run out of ammo we can always chuck that at the enemy.


 

Panel Four: Same as panel two except the first soldier is now lacing his boots up.


 

Caption: Occasionally we'd try to affect the German's morale.

Germans (off): GOTT MIT UNS!


 

Panel Five: Once again similar panel except the first soldier is now leaning back with his head and his hand to the side of his mouth as he shouts.


 

First soldier: YEAH, WE'VE GOT MITTENS TOO! Hahaha

Second Solder: Heh heh.


 

PAGE THREE


 

Panel One: Same content as panel one on page two.


 

Caption: Mostly though, we just tried to get by until we could come home.


 

Panel Two: Here we see Harrison and two privates, Adams and Milton, sitting around a box playing cards. Harrison is on the left. He is unkempt and not wearing a helmet whilst smoking with rifle leaning on the wall behind him. He is looking up to the barbed wire at the top of the trench. Harrison is sitting in the middle; his eyes are down as though looking at the cards in his hand. On the right Adams is seated. He is young and well kept, with his gun slung over his shoulder; he too is looking down at his cards.


 

Milton: So what do you think Sarge? How long till we're forced through that stuff up there?

Harrison: Couldn't say. But I'll let top brass know you're ready as soon as I can, eh?

Milton: Ahh don't go out of your way sir. Even this hell hole is better than what's waiting up there. Right Adams?

Adams: Actually I can't wait to go over the top.


 

Panel Three: Front view of Milton. He has a confused look on his face. He is pointing up to the panel (where the top of the trench behind Adams would be).


 

Milton: Have you lost it? What could possibly inspire you to want to clamber across to the German trench? Oktober Fest? A love of Wagner? A deep rooted desire to be ripped apart by machine gun fire?

Harrison (off): Easy private.


 

Panel Four: Side view of Adams, with Harrison on his left. Harrison is looking at Adams expectantly. Adams is still looking at his cards but has a smile on his face.


 

Adams: While those do sound splendid, it's my ticket home. The sooner we win this war the sooner I go home.

Harrison: A girl then?

Adams: Name's Rachel. Beautiful red hair, voice like an angel. If you'd ever seen her, you'd know it was worth it. The sooner I'm through with this, the sooner I get back to her.


 

Panel Five: Similar View except this time it's a side view of Milton with Harrison on the right. Milton is leaning back with a smirk on his face and his hands resting on his knees. Harrison has his head turned to Milton with an angry expression on his face.


 

Milton: A girl? Poor bugger, you'll soon find out that no girl's worth what we're about to go through. May as well shoot yourself in the foot now and get out early.

Harrison: Private! Do you want to be on sentry duty tonight?


 

PAGE FOUR


 

Panel One: Once again the top of a trench with barbed wire along it.


 

Caption: The order came through on the morning of the 28th.The troops had mixed feelings about finally going over the top.


 

Panel Two: Adams leaning against the wall of the trench with another soldier seated next to him. In the background, sitting on his own is Milton. The first two are engaged in conversation whilst Milton looks solemn.


 

Adams: Tomorrow is the day. We climb out of this trench, walk across that bit of land and I'm closer to home.

Soldier: Maybe even kill a few of them sods. Get ourselves some medals when we get back to Blighty?


 

Panel Three: Same panel again but with the Adams and the soldier looking quite cheerful. In the background Milton is staring at the two with an intense look on his face.


 

Solider: So I heard you've got a girl back home. Bet that will make the hero's welcome that bit sweeter?

Adam: It's going to be sweet enough just seeing her face again. I remember this one summer when we walked out to the country...


 

Panel Four: View of Milton alone now. He is looking directly towards the right of the panel at Adams and the soldier. He looks frustrated.


 

Milton: Don't you get it? There's no medals, no sweet hearts waiting for you out there! Just hundreds of Germans are up there, just as pissed off as us, with machine guns and rifles. Nothing is out in no man's land other than the knowledge of life and death! I thought you would have realized that by now! This isn't an order to be heroes or go home; it's an order to be killed.


 

Panel Five: Front view of Adams and the soldier. They are both looking down with a mixture of realisation of their situation and shame of their naivety


 

Milton (off): If you love this girl so much, I'd start writing your goodbye letter.


 

PAGE FIVE


 

Panel One: Same as the previous first panels except this time the barbed wire has gone.


 

Caption: On the morning of the Push, our trench felt eerily quiet.


 


 

Panel Two: View of a group of soldiers with their backs against the now barb wire free trench. In no man's land explosions are lighting up the dark morning sky. The soldiers look sombre attending to their guns and various other bits of their kit. None of them are interacting with one another

S/F: THUDUUM! (Shelling sounds)


 

Panel Three: A close up view of a soldier inspecting his rifle to make sure everything is in order.

S/F: CLI-CLAK (Lee Enfield being cocked)


 

Panel Four: A close up of Adams in the foreground with Milton next to him. Adams is resting some paper on his lap as he writes his final letter home; he has a longing look on his face. Milton next to him has a cigarette in his mouth as he shields his lit match from the wind.


 


 

Panel Five: The time has arrived. All the soldiers are lined up at the trench wall preparing to go over the top; at the end of the line is Harrison. He is holding a pistol in one hand and a whistle in mouth with the other.

S/F: CLAK-CLAK-CLAK (this sound should be moving down the trench as each soldier cocks his weapon)


 

Caption: Being honest sir, making that order might have been the hardest thing I had to do in that trench.


 


 

PAGE SIX


 

Panel One: Frontal view of Harrison and his men marching across No Man's Land in a line. On the ground we can see bits of debris, holes from the shelling filled up with muddy water and bit of barbed wire mashed into the ground, occasionally reaching out of the ground.


 

Caption 1: The bombardment was a failure sir. The barbed wire in no man's wasn't destroyed, and the terrain became almost impassable.


 

Panel Two: A view from behind the silhouetted unit in the back ground we can see the flash of machine gun fire. The silhouetted troops are being torn to bits. Flesh and ripped uniform fly around the air.

S/F: TUDUDUDUD-TUDUDUDUD-TUDUDUDUD! (heavy machine gun fire)

German Trench: SCHIESSEN!

Caption: The German trenches were fine. Their guns ripped us apart.


 

Panel Three: Harrison is dragging himself through the mud with one arm, His other arm is bleeding and half his face is covered in a mixture of dirt and blood. He looks both exhausted and in excruciating pain. Around him lie the bodies of various British troops. In the background we can see the flash of machine gun fire and a few bullets narrowly missing Harrison, pinging on debris around him

S/F: TINK-TING (bullet ricocheting of debris)


 

Panel Four: In the foreground lying on some twisted barbed wire we can see Adams. He is bleeding profusely. He is looking up into the sky as he breathes his last breath. Blood is trickling from his mouth. One hand rest on his stomach where he has been shot, the other is holding up a folded piece of paper. Harrison is approaching and is only a few feet away. He has a look of shock on his face upon finding Adams.


 

Harrison: Adams! Hold on! I'm coming!


 

Panel Five: Harrison has crawled right next to Adams. He is pressing down on his stomach in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding with a look of alarm on his face as he looks at the wound. His other hand is holding the letter. Adams splutters blood as he tries to speak.


 

Adams: You have to take this home for me *cough*. Take it to Rachel.

Harrison: I'm getting you out of here. You can give it to her yourself.

Adams: I broke my promise *cough cough*. I promised ...


 

PAGE SEVEN


 

Panel One: Milton has shown up behind Harrison. He is relatively unscathed appearing to have only minor cuts. He has grabbed Harrison by the back of his jacket and is trying to haul him back to British trenches. Harrison looks desperate and doesn't want to leave Adams behind; as he is being pulled away he has taken Adams letter. Adams can still be seen in the foreground dying.


 

Milton: Let's get the hell out of here!

Harrison: No! We have to get Adams home!

Milton: God damn it! He's done for. Forget him.

Adams: I promised...I'd...

Caption: I'd like to suggest a notable mention in your report for Private Joseph Milton


 

Panel Two: Adams' body lays in the foreground. In the background Milton is still dragging Harrison with his back to the reader and has just taken a bullet in his back. Harrison is still looking at Adams compassionately.

S/F: CRACK! (Rifle shooting Milton in the back)


 

Caption 1: He was killed whilst dragging me out of combat.

Harrison: You should have taken him!

Milton: He's a dead m *gahk*

Adams:...make it...


 

Panel Three: View from above Adams; we can see his head and shoulders. His eyes have closed and he looks peaceful. Behind his head is a bed of twisted barbed wire.


 

Caption1: That's about everything sir. Before I'm dismissed I was wondering if you could see that this letter gets back to England? One of my privates gave it to me before he died.


 

Adams: ...home.


 

Panel Four: Very similar head shot of Adams, only this time he has his hands behind his head. His eyes are closed and he is smiling as the sun beats down on his face. Instead of barbed wire he is laying with his back to the trunk of a tree, behind the tree we can see lush fields and hills. Picturesque England.


 

Rachel (off): Hello stranger.


 

Panel Five: Frontal view of Rachel, She is looking down at Adams. She is every bit the beauty he said she was. The sun is high in the sky behind her and behind we can see more country side. She wears a floral dress and has a flower in her hair. She looks incredibly happy to see Adams.


 

PAGE EIGHT


 

Panel One: View of Rachel sitting down next to Adams. She has lifted his arm up and is putting it around herself, Adams is looking at her with a slight look of disappointment on his face.

Adams: So have you forgiven me?

Rachel: Just, but you have to promise me one thing.

Adams: Anything.


 

Panel Two: Rachel is holding Adams face. She is gazing at him lovingly as Adams waits expectantly

Adams: What is it?


 

Panel Three: Similar view but the couple are now kissing holding one another gently.


 

Panel Four: View of Rachel and Adams, She is now resting in his arm with her head on his shoulder and her hand resting on his chest. Adams is kissing her head.

Rachel: Promise me you'll come home.

Adams: I promise.


 

Panel Five: This should be the biggest panel on the page. In the left hand corner we see Adams and Rachel resting against a tree. The rest on the panel should consist on the idyllic countryside; think forests, green and golden fields perhaps a perfect little cottage in the distance with soft rolling hills surround it.

Rachel: I love you

Adams: I love you.


 

Caption Box:

IF I should die, think only this of me:
    That there's some corner of a foreign field
That is forever England. There shall be
    In that rich earth a richer dust concealed;
A dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware,
    Gave, once, her flowers to love, her ways to roam,
A body of England's, breathing English air,
    Washed by the rivers, blest by the suns of home.

The Soldier- Rupert Brooke